Discuss
issues early before they get entrenched, before resentment and emotions
build up. Select a good time to talk about the problem. Open up to each
other. Make eye contact, touch or hold hands.
Explain the problem
Speak your mind what you think or feel.
Use positive communication. Express strong feelings appropriately. Avoid
hurtful statements. Don’t attack your partner by using ‘you’ statements
you caused it… you are the one that…. Use “i” statements instead for effective communication.
Don’t speak at thesame time
Take turns to talk and listen. Listen
well to understand your partner’s perspective. Go beyond what he/she is
saying verbally to understand what he/she is communicating emotionally.
Ask questions to clarify what he/she is saying. Ask non-defensive
questions to elicit non-defensive responses.
Muster positive disposition
Respond calmly to deal with the
intruder, the problem, your spouse is not the problem. State your
opinion, express your feelings, concerns and needs calmly. Calm tone of
voice and positive body language.
Make the problem small
Work together at getting to the root of
the problem. Search for solution together. Consider each other’s view.
Find a way to resolve it and arrive at a compromise. Come up with
solutions. Select a solution that you are both happy with and can carry
out. Be determined to make amends. Resolve to prevent a recurrence.
Shame the devil!
Make up. Show remorse and apologize
where necessary. Forgive, who is above mistake anyway! Re-affirm your
love for each other and re-connect. Make his/her happiness your project.
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